So let’s take it from the top. The beginning of my journey into becoming a mother, the day I found out I was going to have twins at the age of just 17… Picture the scene me sat in a room with other mums to be. Extremely scared and nervous, sweaty palms and a turning stomach!!. They call my name, I walk into the room heart pumping. They start the scan and I see a flicker a little heart beat and then I am asked to leave the room. In that moment I have never felt so scared in my life, I wanted to be a mother to this baby I wanted to hold it in my arms and love it forever. Was there something wrong? Was I going to lose my baby? Sitting back in the waiting room a lady comes over, “Kathleen can you go to the toilet and then come back in” so that’s what I did. As I laid back on the couch and the scan started I was given a little smile by the lady performing the scan “oh there you go!!. It’s not one baby it’s two”. There it was total unimaginable love in an instant like nothing I ever felt before. I was going to be a mother of twins …
With the love comes the fear ….
So it’s all going smoothly scans every two weeks, perfect growth from each baby until that day then everything changed!!. The scan showed huge changes in growth, it was a quick phone call from the doctors to kings college hospital in London I had an appointment the very next day. My babies, my tiny baby girls where dying!!. They had TTS they was sharing blood vessels through the placenta, I had to have an emergency surgical procedure there and then. At 17 laying on the bed they inserted a tube into my stomach, inside that tube was a drain, a laser and a camera!!. And that was it there was my girls on a TV screen I could see everything, fingers and toes and hair. I was watching them moving with the cloudy water floating in front of them. It had to be done, if I didn’t go through with the surgery I would of lost both my girls in one week they would have been still born!!..
Dr professor Nicolaides the man that saved my girls!! He sat in front of me held my hand and told me the statistics, 30% chance that they would both die, 30% chance that at least one baby will die, 30% that they will survive but be handicapped and 10% chance they will both be fine!!.. The aim of the surgery was to laser connecting blood vessels within the placenta to ensure they had their own blood supply. Surgery complete and I was having contractions on and off for the next week while I waited to go back to London for another scan. My miracle girls defied the odds they where both weighing in at a healthy 1lb each and where fighting every day. Weekly scans followed and even though we didn’t know if they where handicapped I never gave up, I knew that no matter what I would love and care for my girls. I would bring them up and give them the best life I possibly could.
Then came the waiting….
Twin Pregency’s are supposed to come early right? Not for me, at 36 weeks my girls were still inside. They were expected to come at around the 32 week mark. Nothing, not a thing. The doctors couldn’t quite believe it, they decided to induced me at 36 +3 days. I gave birth to 2 healthy girls after about 16 hours of labour, Chloe was born first weighing 4ib 10oz and Jessica was born 15 minutes after a full breach delivery weighing in at 4ib 1oz. They spent a week in the Special Care Baby Unit, I stayed the whole time. I walked down to them every 2-3 hours to feed them, even through the night. They were was strong and totally healthy. I had given them the best home for 36 weeks and they had survived.
I had found my calling I knew that this was what I was made for, this is what I was here for I was a MOTHER….
I’ve had a few not all of them have been successful. I’ve had a lot of heartache over the years starting with a pregnancy when the girls where about 18months old. I had an ectopic and had my right tube removed at 10 weeks in to my Pregency. There I was 18 years old with 2 children and I’ve just been told that I’ll find it really hard to conceive another baby. I knew this life of motherhood was for me but I never thought it was going to be this hard.
There it was, that little blue line. Was this really happening so soon? I remember thinking ‘oh my goodness it must be wrong’ they told me this wasn’t going to happen. After about 6 tests I believed it I was going to be a mum again. I was booked in for an early scan at 7 weeks. Before I even got to that date I started to bleed, at around 6 weeks I was told I had lost my baby. Little did they know that I had held on to a very special boy but sadly lost his twin. Jasper Joel Hodges was born 10 days late after a 4 hour labour, weighing in at 7lb 4 oz. I held my beautiful redhead baby and knew that he would do great things, he was an old soul and as he looked into my eyes it felt as though he had been here before.
That little blue line LAYLA
The most perfect round bump still in me size 8 jeans waiting patiently she’s 7 days late. Come on baby I want to meet you. When she decided to come that was it, there was no stopping her she was coming. No hanging around, born on the front room floor in just 3 hours from the first pain. I held my 6lb 14oz Angel in my arms, born the day before her sisters’ 4th birthday. She was a doll a perfect baby and I was now a mum of 4 at the age of 21.
And so on to… Big RALPH
“Babe I’m feeling sick, and I broke a cup”. (Joe) ‘I’ll go get a test’. He knows me far to well, if I break something and feel sick it’s time to get a test. He was right baby number 5 was on its way. I felt amazing my Pregency with Layla was so perfect all the fears from my previous Pregency’s had gone away. Little did I know it was all going to start again. Walking into the toilet at 13 weeks looking down and seeing blood, lots and lots of blood. Please no not again, my heart sank, I kept saying “I’ve lost it there’s too much blood” and in the same breath please save my baby begging the doctors. Sitting in A&E and being told I had to go home, they couldn’t scan me I had to just wait and see what happened. You don’t go through the scans I’ve had without getting to know some direct numbers along the way and meeting some lovely ladies as well. A phone call later and I was booked in for a scan the next day. Still bleeding I lay on the couch “Kathleen I’m so sorry it was twins again you’ve lost one, but there is your baby. The only problem is you see that big dark patch, that is a really big bleed if that comes away its going to bring your baby with it”. ‘No it’s not I’m not going to loose another baby’. I was put on bed rest and had scans every 2 weeks. I bleed every day up to 24 weeks when like magic it stopped. I carried on my Pregency and ended up 4 days over due. After a 4 hour labour, weighing in at 8lb 5oz Ralph Charles Hodges was born. He came out lifted his head up and looked around the room, he was solid. His neck control was incredible. He was his fathers double in every way the strongest baby I’ve ever seen.
So I hope I’m not boring you… XXXX
New house new baby…
Rupert George Hodges, my wise innocent soul. From the first kick I knew he was special, I knew It would be OK. It was a perfect Pregency, he was kind to me a lovely neat bump my precious boy. As I walked into the delivery room I knew he was on his way. I knew I had time and I didn’t want to spend hours just sitting there but I had to go in to be checked because I’ve had so many babies, however I really didn’t like the midwife I had so I went home. After a discussion with the midwife she was happy for me to leave. At home I tidied round cleaned and faffed as you do. Then finally had a lay down, I woke my husband at 1:30 and told it him was time. I was ready to go back, i puffed the cushions on the sofa and went back to the hospital. I got examined and I was 4 cm, as I stood up I looked at the midwife and told her I was ready. She got me into the pool and just like that his head was there. The midwife was amazing, she allowed me to do everything I wanted to do. Rupert was delivered in his bag of waters in the pool after a 45 minute labour. He weighed in at 7lb 3oz, the perfect delivery. He was the a mixture of Layla and Jasper, an extremely pretty little boy. My heart was full.
And last but by no means least….
The 7th baby of the 7th baby the lucky one…
Me : babe I’m pregnant
Joe : have you done a test
Me : no I don’t need to I just know
Joe : I’m going to get a test…
After one month of trying I was pregnant again, watching that big smile appear on my husbands face as he placed his hand on my tummy we were blessed. We was going to be parents again. “It’s a girl” he kept saying as he walked through the door at night with bags of pink girls clothes. Little did he know it was a boy, my husband was in fact wrong. Once again my Pregency was amazing, I was carrying really neat. I continued to train throughout my Pregency and I felt amazing. I went into labour after a long dog walk with the kids, we needed to get this baby moving he was 6 days late. That afternoon I new it was happening I was on my own doing the kids tea, I bathed them all and got them all ready for bed. As I put Rupert into bed I went on to all fours on his bedroom floor, I rang joe at work and told him he needed to come home. We left it as long as we could then finally we went to hospital. I walked in and was examined, I wasn’t even dilated and was told I had to go home. As I got off the bed I looked at Joe and said “they’re wrong I’m not going anywhere”. I asked if I could hang around and just have a bath, the midwife agreed and ran the pool for me. I knew I was close, after about 10 minutes the midwife came back in the room she took one look at me and said thank god you didn’t go home. I laughed, “I told you so” I said. After a 40 minute delivery my baby was born in the pool just like his brother. I lifted him out the water to take his first breath, we waited for his cord to stop pulsating like we have with all our baby’s. Arthur Benedict Hodges was here 7lb 13oz of pure beauty, a red haired version of Ralph. He was he brothers double and just like his daddy.
So there it is my first blog post Eeeekkkk!!!!…
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading it sorry it was so long but there a lot to get through!!.. My journey into motherhood and so my story continues…